grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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