areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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