Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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