We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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