I skipped work to stalk him.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
