u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
