She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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