it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
