last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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