I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
