I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
