Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
