Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
