im holly from the hills drunk
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
