I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
