You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
