For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
