Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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