guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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