I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
