apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
