He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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