I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
