office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my vag is so smooth its legendary
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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