I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
