Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
