she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
