I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
