areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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