I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
