Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
