last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
