it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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