so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Let's paint friendship bongs
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
