I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
