I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
