Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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