do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
