He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
