shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
