she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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