Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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