She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
