last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
