# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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