My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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