I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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