i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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