I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
