I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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