Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
